Happy Monday, beautiful people!! So excited about today’s feature as it’s an Anniversary feature and we love those! But, this one is a little bit different it’s more of an essay on the 1st Year of Marriage as told to us by bride, Lori Flowers. You may remember her from garden wedding we featured here. Lori tells us about 3 main lessons she learned over her first 365 days of marriage. Happy Anniversary Lori & Oj!!
Oj & Lori on their wedding day May 16, 2015 Photo by Joanna Henderson Photography
From Bride, Lori Flowers:
The saying “Time goes by when you’re having fun” is so true as it relates to me and my sweet husband OJ’s first year of marriage. Here we are at our one year anniversary and it has been truly ahhh-mazing. We learned a lot this first year about each other and about marriage and I would like to share my top 3 things:
1. Let a Man Be a Man – Ladies….by nature we always feel we can change someone or nag them to death to do what we want to do. I learned in marriage that it’s really simple. Let a man be a man. Men by nature are providers and want to “take care of us” and the things around the house IF you allow them to. I learned that I can call out a situation to OJ’s attention, but I do not need to keep repeating it. He heard me the first time. He just has his own plan for when he will handle it and as long as it is not a threat to our household, I will let him handle it.
2. You cannot worry about being the perfect wife – I read a lot of storybooks and watched a ton of movies and TV shows that portrayed the wife as being this perfect human who managed to cook a gourmet dinner, kept a perfectly clean house and looked darn good doing it. Well, that theory went out the window after my first month. I realized that I couldn’t have a hot meal on the table every night for dinner. And yeah, there may be a plate left in the sink when we went to bed, but I could not worry about that. I had to realize that we both work and we both have busy lives outside of marriage. What I did learn to do was “do what I could do”. I started meal planning, which allowed me to lay out the dinner / lunch plan for the week and the grocery list would be based off what we planned to eat. I learned not to beat myself up if I felt the house was not picture perfect. OJ and I actually work well together in this area because when he is available, he chips in to cook or clean and pick up food and I do the same.
3. Be intentional about spending time together – It seems that after we got married, there were more demands from outside people and activities that took us away from each other. We had to make it a point to steal away from other people’s demands including family and close friends and make sure that we had adequate time with one another. We did not feel bad about saying “no” or not being available to people because we both realized that our marriage is our first ministry.
I will carry these three things with me into my marriage as I feel they are very important. Finally #Flowers4Life shared some pretty fun “highlights” during our first year that included:
Moving in and decorating our first home together.
OJ was ordained as a Deacon at our church.
Purchased our first car together.
I was selected as a Woman of Power and Influence with The Atlantan Magazine.
Hosted Easter Dinner for our families at our home.
Final thought I feel I must share is pre-marital counseling is everything! We recommend this to anyone who is planning to get married. It gives couples a platform to talk about everything before you take that step.It is our hope that we can be an inspiration to anyone who may be engaged or already married. Marriage is work, but what’s work when you are actually doing it with someone that you love and care about.
Thank you sooooo much Lori for dropping gems for our future brides and even the newly married..again we’d like to wish you and Oj a very Happy 1st Anniversary!!
Have you considered pre-marital counseling?